Now sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this Baltic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The Skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a gas pipeline tour, a gas pipeline tour.

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted Baltic isle,
With Joe Biden, and Scholzie too,
Macaroni, and his wife,
The Rishi Sun,
Ursula and Giorgia
Here on Nordstream Isle.

Now this is the tale of our castaways,
They’re here for a long long time.
They’ll have to make the best of things.
It’s an uphill climb.
The first mate and the Skipper too
Will do their very best
To make the others comfortable
In their Baltic island nest.

No gas, no heat, no energy.
Not a single industry.
Like Robinson Crusoe,
It’s primitive as can be.
So join us here each week, my friends.
You’re sure to get a smile
From seven stranded castaways
Here on Nordstream Isle.